I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
