i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
