This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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