Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Randomize
