The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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