Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
