I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
