Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
