Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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