Just mADE A PArabola og urine
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
