one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
