Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
