i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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