I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
