Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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