your room smells of hookers.
And success
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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