So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
