Welp...herpes.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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