we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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