I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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