How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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