i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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