1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
