i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think people are normalizing furries
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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