I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
