You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
