So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
