some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
