I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
