North Korea, Best Korea!
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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