I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
