I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
