Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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