Where did you get a picture of my penis
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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