Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
