Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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