party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
