I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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