I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Your cock deserves a montage
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
