I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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