I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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