Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
