how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The beer is more important than you right now.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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