Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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