can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I think my moral compass just broke
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
