The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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