I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
