How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
