I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
