whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
