I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
